Unlucky
by FacelessStranger
Summary: This will totally happen someday.....I'm sort of surprised that it hasn't happened already....Please read and review....yeah, and I don't own any of these characters and all that jazz


Grass so green that it was almost blinding covered the meadow that seemed to stretch out endlessly in all directions with flowers of almost every color imaginable springing up periodically throughout. A diminutive man wearing an immaculate green suit with a bright green bowler hat ran across it as though death itself was chasing. In fact, it was really only three young children which currently pursued him. Two of the children pursuing him were boys, one was a girl, and all three were cartoons just like the man in the green suit himself was.

"You won't out run us, Lucky," one of the boys chasing him taunted,"you never have and you never will. I bet we'll be enjoying them in a few minutes." All three children laughed mockingly at the small man in the green suit.

"Ahh, we'll just be seein' about that, won't we? Eh, wee ones?" Lucky stopped running and turned to face his pursuers. He raised one palm in the air and appeared to be concentrating intently as he began mumbling something under his breath.

"Umm," the little girl who had been running after Lucky asked as she stopped and looked about in confusion,"what are you doing??"

The sky suddenly darkened as storm clouds spread across the horizon. An explosion nearly deafened all who were present. The whole scene was lost in a thick fog. When the fog abruptly began to dissipate, the meadow appeared to be largely unchanged. The sky was blue, the meadow was green, and the flowers that sprang up haphazardly were still a variety of colors. Lucky still stood there completely unchanged in his green outfit. The only difference was that the three children facing Lucky had been turned into giant living versions of the marshmallows that he created for his cereal.

"Yes," Lucky said with a smile,"Why I did nae think of usin' me powers to do this earlier is beyond me." The three children, their faces contorted into exaggerated expressions of agony, lurched toward Lucky with extreme slowness. Lucky smashed the three children into a pile of sugary dust. He then walked off into the distance humming an off-key version of the theme to his commercials.

Later in the day, a knock came on the door of the small cottage about a mile from the tree that the Keebler Elves lived in. An elderly man in a blue and white naval uniform was the one knocking on the door. To his left stood a giant peanut wearing a top hat that walked with a cane. On his right was a large bear in blue jeans and a ranger's hat.

Lucky answered the door with a mischievous grin on his face. Instead of the more formal green suit he had worn earlier in the day, he now wore only an old bright green t-shirt and a pair of dark green sweat pants. Next to him stood the Native American girl who appears on those butter packages. Both her and Lucky appeared extremely disheveled, as though they had been forced to throw these clothes on in a hurry.

"How," the Native American girl said cheerfully as she waved at the three visitors standing outside Lucky's door. The one named "Cap'n" in the naval uniform ignored her and turned to face Lucky.

"Now Lucky," Cap'n began avuncularly,"I assume you already know why I am here."

"Aye," agreed Lucky,"it's because yer a daft ol' bugger with nothin' better to do with his time than annoy the bloody hell out of decent folk."

"Hey," admonished Cap'n,"hey, there's no need for that kind of talk. No, I am here to tell you that simply must go back and use your powers to undo that mess you made earlier today. You need to let the scene play out the way it was meant to play out. Since it was humankind who has dreamed us all into existence, the least we can do is let these scenes they come up with progress as they wish them to."

"Ha," cried Lucky,"and what if I'm growin' a mite tired of bein' there li'l puppet on a string?? What's the bloody point in existing if we do nae get to live our own lives?"

"I say," said the giant peanut,"I do believe that there is no point to this whatsoever." He hurled his cane at Lucky. Lucky crouched down and the cane returned to the giant peanut like a boomerang. Cap'n sighed and pulled his guns from their holsters. He fired off several rounds. With a look of horror on her face, the Native American girl shoved Lucky out of the way. Several bullets hit her and she collapsed to the ground.

"No," Lucky screamed,"no!!! You'll pay for this, the lot of ye." He caused several marshmallow trees to spring up out of the ground and trap the bear in all of their various branches and roots. Lucky then shot a barrage of marshmallow stars towards the giant peanut. The giant peanut then collapsed to the ground as a substance resembling peanut butter began pouring out of the hole in his cracked shell. Lucky shot two marshmallow hearts into the barrels of each of cap'n's guns, causing them to explode the next time Cap'n tried to fire them. Cap'n fell to the ground clutching his hands where they were injured when the guns exploded. Lucky soon found himself towering over Cap'n with a smile on his face and his fists raised to deliver a blow.

It was at that point, however, that Lucky was knocked unconscious by the bear that had managed to break free from the marshmallow trees. Cap'n and the bear put restraints on Lucky and began carrying him away. The bear, however, found himself unable to derive any satisfaction from their victory. In the past, the bear had never questioned his life as a corporate mascot. Warning people about the dangers of forest fires seemed harmless and probably even beneficial. Still, though, there was something about this encounter that would haunt him for some time to come and cause him to have numerous sleepless nights.


End file.
